Майтапи ¹ 4

[Eguo]

Лидер партии ЛДПР Владимир Жириновский заявил, что хотел бы стать президентом Новороссии. Об этом сообщает «Русская служба новостей».

http://nbnews.com.ua/ru/news/131128/

[Dinain]

- Бабо Гичке, къде си се запътила?
- Отивам чедо до фронт-офисъ да видя ко става с пенсийката! Грaд Царево

[messire Woland]

[кало]

[bukvite]

Я расскажу о вопиющем факте:
На берегах Амура, средь полей
Попался наш простой советский трактор
В прицел шести китайских батарей.

Ударил залп, снаряды полетели,
Но тракторист был парень с головой:
Он жм¸т педаль — и вот не видно цели
В поставленной завесе дымовой.

А трактор взмыл над милой стороною
И в тот же миг агрессору в ответ,
Чтоб постер¸гся нас пугать войною
Ударил залп тактических ракет.

А тракторист наш, капитан Литвинов,
Взглянул на карту и включил форсаж,
Спокойно отбомбился над Пекином
И заложил на родину вираж.

Он над Амуром выключил реактор,
Чтоб не пугать родных овец и коз.
Прон¸сся в небе наш советский трактор
На дозаправку в свой родной колхоз.

И, если враг опять предпримет меры,
Чтоб помешать собрать нам урожай,
Приказом Агропром СССР-а
У нас на поле вылетит комбайн!

[Imperial]

[Eguo]

Яценюк. Репетиция. Оператор забравих да изключите видеокамера.
(Галстук пока не кушает )

[Изчезнал Безследно]

Супер-Дедо
https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=gVlOU8aJ9hQ

[Imperial]

[1951]

[Dinain]

The 15 most outrageous Joan Rivers quotes ever
From the woman who said, 'I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.'

Comedian Joan Rivers died in New York on Thursday, aged 81.

Known for her no-holds-barred humor, touching on subjects as varied and "indelicate" as her sex-life, plastic surgery ("I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware”) and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, here is our pick of her 15 most outrageous quotes:

1. "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

2. “All I ever heard when I was a kid was, ‘Why can’t you be more like your cousin Sheila?’ And Sheila had died at birth.”

3. "I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid."

4. "You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it."

5. "At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!"

6. "I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery."

7. “My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.”

8. "People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."

9. "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks."

10. “Grandchildren can be so fucking annoying. How many times can you go, ‘And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink’? It’s like talking to a supermodel.”

11. “You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.”

12. “I can’t wear yellow anymore. It’s too matchy-matchy with my catheter.”

13. "My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."

14. "I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it."

15. "I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs."

And two bonus Jewish jokes:

1. I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

2. On supermodel Heidi Klum: "The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens."

http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/jewish-world-features/1.614248

[StrEagle]

[StrEagle]

[Eguo]

Танец дневального 56 ДШБ РФ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd1j83Wwwos

[Nick]